Porn is love you can see.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize