im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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