Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
