i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
