either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
i now understand why vodka
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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