apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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