What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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