So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
