I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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