Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
