You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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