OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
