this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
