hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
