i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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