apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
