I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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