So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
