i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
