If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
