he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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