oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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