..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You need a sexual gate keeper
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
