I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
