Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
