I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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