is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
