i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
