It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Just cropdusted the office
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
