Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
