I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
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