"it" just moved
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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