By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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