Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
But theres a keg here and me gusta
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
