every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
