No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
