Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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