did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
