No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
