How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
