Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
