Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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