I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I would fuck him just for his dog
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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