I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
