I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Randomize
