i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
