I got chris browned last night
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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