Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Randomize
