everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
