i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
