Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
