she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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