we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize