My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
