bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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