woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
