it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
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