That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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