what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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