I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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