i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
