guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
