i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
