Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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